Violent Love
by KitkatTenshi
Summary: Looks like Toris is taking the punishment again, but this time, Ivan's in for a surprise.... uses human names, and rated T cuz its not mature enuf, and not K cuz I don't really know why. It's just T.
1. Chapter 1

Toris sat in the small kitchen, listening to his master's steady pacing.

He held a bag of ice to his stomach, nursing the large purple bruise that was forming there. He leaned back in the hard-backed chair, wincing as he did as the squeak of the joints filled the kitchen, the only other sound than the footsteps in the room above.

Toris knew all too well what Ivan pacing meant. It was Toris' fault really; he had let Fae and Sibyl run. Absent-mindedly, he rubbed his stomach, wincing at the pain that ran through his body. Fae sure did know how to kick.

But Ivan knew Toris was in pain. Normally this wasn't a bad thing, but today was the day where it was bad. Ivan hated having only one main epicenter of pain. He liked to spread it out amongst his servants.

But today, Toris was one step ahead of Ivan. He had sent Euard and Ravis to town with a list of shopping, so they wouldn't be home for hours. Besides, Toris didn't want to have Eurad or Ravis take the fall for his own mistake.

In the foyer, the old grandfather clock started chiming 5, and Toris silently stood up, staring at the ceiling.

The footsteps had stopped, and there was a slight tapping. Toris immediately knew from experience what his master was doing. Ivan was staring out the window, watching the sun fade from view before he walked downstairs.

Toris walked to the freezer and threw the bag of ice in it, knowing he was going to need it later. As he sat down again, he heard a door open and shut above him. Ivan was moving now, down the hallway, down the stairs, down to the doorway hidden beneath the stairs.

Toris winced, knowing all too well what lay beneath those stairs for him, half regretting his decision, as he rubbed his back, feeling the bumps that ran all over his back, sometimes criss-crossing with one another. Some of the cuts hidden under the shirt were still healing, the rough scabs slowly turning into pink lines.

Ivan opened the door to the kitchen, his eyes immediately falling on the pathetic figure of his butler, who held his gaze. Toris could see the dots connecting behind Ivan's eyes, and gulped slightly as he tried and failed to hold his master's intense glare.

Looking down, Toris saw something that made his heart and half of his other internal organs jump, whether or not he wanted them to. Ivan was wearing his normal pair of tan pants, but he had left his scarf, gloves, shirt, and coat upstairs. Toris knew why, Ivan hated staining coat and shirts, it took weeks to get blood out of it. His gloves and scarves were often so blood stained, that it never really mattered whether or not you got all of the blood out.

Even in the dim light of the one candle in the kitchen, Toris could see all the scars that ran around Ivan's torso, stretching in every direction, a particularly large one slashing across Ivan's rock hard abs-

"They're gone, aren't they?"

Ivan's voice was like a knife, cutting through the silence and shattering Toris' concentration. Toris nodded, and I van sighed, and behind his master's eyes, Toris could see he was contemplating the situation.

Toris sighed himself and pushed away from the table, standing up and walking over to Ivan. "I don't want Euard or Ravis to take my punishments. Let's just do this."

Ivan's eyebrows rose slightly, but he still grabbed the back of Toris' shirt roughly, dragging him to the foyer and down the flight of stairs concealed beneath the stairs.

As he dragged Toris down the stairs, Ivan wondered what his butler was up to. Toris hated pain of any kind, no matter who he was taking the punishment for. He had hidden in the most bizarre places in an vain effort to escape the torture, once even in Ivan's closet. Truth be told, Ivan would have never found him there if Toris hadn't started muttering to himself. Ivan and Toris had been together for years, and Ivan knew him almost as good as one of his sisters. Toris hated going into Ivan's room since he had been dragged there once before and forced to-

Ivan shook the thought from his head. It was ancient history, and maybe if he had waited a little longer, things might not have turned out the way they had. Frustrated, he threw Toris down the last few steps onto the cold, hard cellar floor.

Toris grunted in pain as he landed on his back, and Ivan inwardly winced. He didn't love beating Toris, he liked it, but he felt bad for weeks afterwards. But Natalia would have Ivan's hide if he didn't show dominance over his staff. Besides. Toris needed to know how badly he fucked up, loosing Ivan's prize Russian roulette gun and Anastasia's dress. If Fae and Sibyl ever came back…

But Toris sat up and started taking off his jacket, which surprised Ivan again. Toris never did this, normally he laid on the floor, silent and unmoving as Ivan whipped him. Ivan turned, muttering darkly to himself as he turned to the one thing that had remained unchanging.

If there was anything Ivan was proud of, it was his whip collection. He had ten whips, each varying in style and shape. Ivan grinned as his hand ran over each whip individually.

He went down the row, finally stopping at **боль. She was his favorite, worn with use from the number of times he had cracked her over the backs of his fallen enemies and servants. While he had been forced to replace most of the other 9 whips, she had remained faithful, never breaking. He remembered the day he had received her from an elderly man…**

**But as he reached for боль, something was off. He recounted the number of whips, making sure.**

**There were eleven.**

**He reached for the odd man out. It was long and black, worn with age too, even though it felt new in his hand. The odd part was the feeling that Ivan had seen this whip before.**

**He shook his head, clearing his mind of such foolish thoughts. He had never owned a whip like this, or any black whip. **

**He turned, whip in hand, half expecting to see Toris already shirtless and laying on his stomach, his back exposed, and waiting for Ivan to start. But Toris sat on the ground, his shirt half unbuttoned, as he stared at his hands.**

**Ivan sighed. Toris was losing his sanity more and more these days, always talking to himself. It was probably from living with his psychotic master who murdered for fun. **

"**Take the shirt off."**

"**No." At this small word, Ivan found his body relaxing. Today was too messed up for Toris to be acting… weird. With runaways, the half the country harping on him, and Natalia coming for a visit in a week, Ivan was too ticked off for anything else to go wrong today.**

**Ivan crossed to Toris and knelt, his knee landing softly somewhere between Toris' knees and mid thighs. His face was a few inches from Toris', his eyes narrowed. "I said, take it off."**

"**No." Toris shook his head, but kept his master's gaze.**

**Ivan growled, and in one swift movement, ripped the shirt off of Toris. Toris immediately turned a slight pink, and Ivan's eyebrows knitted together, curious to what his butler was thinking.**

**And the Ivan looked down at Toris' torso.**

**Toris had on what appeared to be a black sports bra, which just barely covered his pecs. On any woman, it would have just barely covered her tits.**

**Ivan would know. He had seen the outfit on his mother.**

**His mind reeled backwards, showing the only memory he had of his mother while she dragged Ivan and his sisters along a street while ignoring cat calls and wolf whistles as the outfit strained to hold her all in. With no education and three small children out of wedlock, she turned to the only profession that she could do; she became a dominatrix.**

**Ivan remembered that she had belonged to a group of dominatrix, trading sex secrets and toys, often having one of her 'sisters' babysitting the kids while she earned a living, and ultimately leading up to her death.**

**Ivan fell backwards, mouth slightly agape in surprise as he dropped the black whip. He remembered putting all of his mother's stuff in a trunk upstairs in the attic and shoving it into a far corner where no one would find it. **

**Right next to the trunk with the Romanov's treasures and Anastasia's dress.**

**Ivan chided himself on his stupidity. Of course, with the maids going through the Romanov's trunk for the old maid uniforms, they must have seen the other trunk and gotten curious about it. And Toris ****had**** had the keys to open his mother's trunk.**

**But why on earth was Toris was wearing Ivan's mother's dominatrix outfit?**

**Ivan's thoughts were cut off by the sound of Toris standing up, followed by a high-heeled boot pressing onto Ivan's chest.**

**Toris was straddling Ivan now, his hands on Ivan's chest, pushing him to the ground. He sat comfortably on Ivan's stomach, blushing furiously as he unzipped his pants and pulled them off, revealing black leather pants with ties that held the legs together and black leather boots that reached Toris' mid-thigh, its ties criss-crossing and interweaving with the pant's ties. Toris would have looked exactly like a dominatrix if it wasn't for his tomato red blush.**

**Ivan chuckled. "What's wrong little Liet? Scared of the big bad wolf?"**

**Toris' blush faded instantly, and he got a playful look on his face. "Well, who's the big dog now?"**

**Ivan was about to answer when Tori's lips planted themselves onto Ivan's, startling him.**

**Ivan laid on the ground, stunned while Toris lightly kissed him. He didn't know Toris liked him like this. All the times they'd had rape-sex, Toris had remained still like it was some punishment as Ivan tried to get him to laugh, cry, scream, or even react to Ivan's intrusion. **

**Toris broke the kiss and moved back slightly, like he had made a mistake. Ivan immediately pushed himself up, catching Toris as he began to back off. **

**Toris paused, as if startled by Ivan, but he relaxed, slowly melting into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Ivan, who in response began kiss more forcibly.**

**Click**

**Toris broke the kiss again, a sly grin flashing across his face. "Gotchya."**

**Ivan pulled at his arms, only to find a pair of handcuffs secured around his wrists. He pulled at them as Toris stood up, picking something up off of the ground. Ivan started to pick himself off of the ground, only to have Toris whip around and grab the handcuffs, pulling Ivan to the ground. "Nope, you aren't going anywhere."**

**There was a rattle of chains, and Toris looped them around the handcuffs. Ivan began to wonder where Toris got the chains when the answer hit him. He always had a length of chain in the basement for the butlers and servants who refused to sit still and take their beatings. He had forgotten they even existed since Toris never really needed to be tied down.**

Toris stood over Ivan know, softly caressing something in his hand. Ivan immediately knew what it was, but now recognized where he knew the whip from. It too was his mothers, locked away in the trunk.

Toris toed Ivan, rolling him onto his stomach. "Tell me. Who's your mommy?"

Ivan chuckled. "Not you."

CRACK

The whip slashed across Ivan's back, causing him to groan.

"Say it." Toris' voice was low now, practically smothered in honey as he whispered the words into Ivan's ear.

"Never."

There was another crack, and Ivan chuckled darkly. "You really think this will change my mind?"

"Maybe. So say it."

"Nope." The word was simple and taunting, and Toris narrowed his eyes.

This time when the whip crashed on Ivan's back, Ivan felt blood trickle and start to pool in the small of his back. Toris gasped mockingly. "Oh no. It seems I've drawn some blood."

Toris leaned over and Ivan craned his neck to see what his butler was doing.

Ivan felt Toris' breath on his back before he felt Toris' tongue trail along the long cut, licking up most of the pool of blood.

Ivan shivered unintentionally, and, pleased that Ivan had reacted, Toris was up in a flash. "Say it."

"Never."

Again and again the whip slashed at Ivan's back, mixing with faint scars and criss-crossing, each time accompanied with a 'Say it' and a 'Never.'

Finally Toris fell to his knees and dropped the bloody whip. "Alright, I give."

Ivan chuckled, stretching his aching back. "You sure? I have a couple more in me."

Toris flashed a smile, his fingers crawling up Ivan's side. "But I don't."

Ivan's eyes flashed. "But of course my Liet. I was trained to never to reveal anything, even in the most obscene tortures. Maybe I'll spare you one if you let me go…" He said, his tone turning dangerous.

Toris' fingers continued their trek across Ivan's back, weaving in and out of the maze of lines. "I meant I can't whip you anymore. Your back's already covered in scars… But know I can say that I gave Ivan something he'll never forget. Anyway, I still have some more tricks up my sleeve…"

Toris stood up and walked over to the row of cabinets above the whips, leaving Ivan to contemplate all that had happened. While Toris rummaged through one of the cabinets, Ivan stared at the back of hi butler. Something was definitely off with Toris. He was a recluse, disliking being touched in anyway. The only time he ever allowed someone to touch him, or vice versa, was during Ivan's and his sessions, and he remained still and spaced the whole time, like if he focused enough, the world would leave him alone.

Toris made a small noise which Ivan immediately recognized as one of success, catching Ivan's attention. Toris turned around, holding a large, clear bottle, twirling it so that the contents swished about.

"Vodka?" Ivan said, eyebrows raising. Toris couldn't stand the stuff, claiming that just looking at the stuff made him nauseous. "What are you going to do with that? Drink a drop and pass out on the floor?"

Toris chuckled. "Nope. Im surprised you don't remember this specific way to clean wounds master…"

Ivan growled. "You wouldn't-"

Toris crossed the room in a few long strides, opening the bottle and dumping half the contents onto Ivan's back in one quick movement.

A small noise echoed through the cellar, and after a second, Ivan realized the noise was coming from him.

Toris' smile flashed on his face again. "Awww, do I need to kiss your owie better?" Toris leaned over his master's back, kissing seemingly random spots as he trailed all across Ivan's back.

Ivan grunted, and pulled his arms in a quick jerked move towards him, and the lock holding the chains and handcuffs together opened and fell to the ground.

Toris sat up, wiping the blood on his mouth away on his arm, staring in shock. "How did yo-"

"All my locks open if you pull at them hard enough. It's a fail-safe in case a butler decides to lock me up in the basement and leave the premises." Ivan rolled over and faced Toris, who started to edge away. Like lightning, Ivan wrapped his still handcuffed wrists around Toris, trapping him. "You know, most butlers would be killed on the spot for what you just did."

Toris' fingers traveled down Ivan's chest to his stomach, drawing a spiral pattern, stopping at Ivan's abs. "Well, I hope that in my case, you can make a exception."

Ivan groaned, pulling Toris' head to his own.

Toris moved his legs into a kneeling position, slowly moving closer to Ivan. One of Ivan's hands pulled him closer, and Ivan's nails dug into Toris' back. Toris gasped in pain, and Ivan chuckled. "Well, I can make an exception, but you aren't getting away totally clean."

Toris started to pull away, but in retaliation, Ivan pulled him closer into a bone-crushing embrace. He held on like Toris was life itself, since he got the feeling that if he let go, he'd never see this side of Toris again.

"Say it."

Toris blinked in surprise at the words since they had not come out of his own mouth as he pushed half-heartedly at Ivan's chest. "Say what?"

Ivan ignored Toris' feeble attempts to free himself and laid his head on Toris' chest. "What you feel about me."

The words were simple and clear, but Toris blushed and looked away. "I don't know what-"

"Toris, I've known you for years. And besides. I hear your heart."

Toris opened and shut his mouth twice, half starting the sentence. Ivan glanced up, seeing the conflict behind Toris' eyes, an epic war.

"I… I… love… The animals!" Toris cried suddenly, pushing against Ivan with new energy. "I forgot to feed them dinner, so I should-"

"Later. Answer the fricking question." Toris' face fell and he stared at the ground. Ivan sighed and brought his arms around Toris' head and lifted up Toris' head. "Just say it. You'll feel better."

"I… I… I…" Toris said, stuttering, and Ivan sighed again.

"You know Im not one for patience, but I'll give you a little with this. You can answer when you want to say it Liet." Toris threw his arms around Ivan, and kissed him. Ivan kissed him back, and together they sunk into their own little world.

Alright, since I fail at this sort of thing..... NO SEX FO YOU!!!!!!!

XD

No seriously. I can't write good smut scenes to save my life since I have no experience in this field.... -closes eyes, presses fingers to forehead, and sighs- Its a Britannia Angel sized miracle I even got this out of mah brain.

Sibyl and Fae are two maids in Ivan's house who he tried to kill, but they ran away, (I'll post their story later. Just for fun.) so I guess this makes them mine and Ane-chan's OC's.

All rights to the creators and such.

Please leave comments and such, cuz I love them, no matter what. Even if you think my work is shit. I want to be a better writer, and (while I do love getting compliments) sometimes it's better to get a good criticsm now and again.


	2. Chapter 2

~Later~

Toris nodded, waving off Ivan, Euard, and Ravis. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Knowing Natalia, she's going to have 50 bags again, and Ivan needs someone to distract her from how Ivan's not married yet. Anyway, I have to clean the kitchen without all of you dumping dirty dishes everywhere."

Ravis grinned. "We'll be home before you realize we're gone. And know Master, he'll probably go 500 miles a minute just to get away from her."

Toris ruffled Ravis' hair, chuckling. "Now, get going. Ivan's losing his patience. Everyone's in the car but you. I'll have dinner ready by the time you get back."

Ravis nodded, dashing to the car as he waved good-bye. From where Toris stood, he could hear Ivan muttering about how Natalia would bitch and complain about how they were late while he tapped the wheel and Ravis got into the car.

Toris waved them off until the car reached the top of the hill and was lost to sight before turning into the empty house.

As Euard liked it, the house was spotless, so Toris just did a quick run through the house before walking into the kitchen. His shoes clicked on the hard wood floors, the only sound in the once bustling house.

Toris walked into the kitchen, remembering the days when it was only him and Ivan in the house, and started humming to himself to occupy the time and out of an old habit.

"You know, we could surprise him. He opens his bedroom door, and WHAM! We'll be there, naked, bow covering just enough to keep us decent."

"Nothing's decent with you." Toris said, opening a cupboard and reaching for the lone cookbook.

"Oh, but it did bring you closer to Master." The girl said, sitting on the counter. She picked the cookbook out of Toris' hands, flipping through. "Ooooh. Use this recipe. It sounds romantic."

Toris took the recipe, shaking his head. "Angel Food Cake isn't dinner. Anyway, I don't like Ivan like that."

The girl started twirling her short, wavy brown hair. "That's a lie."

Toris gulped, turning back to the cookbook. "No, it's the truth. Why would I lie?"

The girl pulled Toris to her, her arms draped over Toris' shoulders as she quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pressed a hand to his chest. "You lie because I hear your heartbeat speed up when you see him. You all but worship the ground he walks on. You take Euard and Ravis' beatings under the pretense you don't want to spread the pain, but you have your own selfish desires…"

Toris pulled away, picking up the cookbook. "I think I'll make chicken soup tonight."

The girl stood up from her perch, wrapping her arms around Toris. "You take your punishments in silence, in case you scream something you don't want him to know."

Toris pulled away again, setting a pot full of water on the stove and pulling out ingredients and began chopping them up with unnecessary viciousness. The girl trailed her fingers across Toris' bare-chest. "You refuse to hold his gaze for long, afraid if you do, he'll see your feelings."

"Shut up."

The girl clapped her hands, gleeful she had struck a nerve. "You refuse to show emotion during the nasty because you don't want him to know how you feel."

"Shut up." Toris' hand clenched around the handle of the knife, gripping it tightly.

"Because you locked away your feelings when your parents sold you on the slave market and condemned you to this hell."

"Shut it." Toris was gripping the knife so tightly, his knuckles were turning chalk white.

"You're afraid that you love him, and when he finds out, he'll leave you."

Toris threw the knife, and it sliced through her stomach and sunk into the wall. Toris and her both fell, grasping their stomachs.

The girl chuckled with a small smile on her face, and picked Toris up and set him in the chair and knelt in front of him, inspecting the wound. "Ooooh. Naughty boy. You forgot for a minute that I'm another part of you. And that killing me means the same for you. Thankfully it's just a scratch, or we'd have a problem."

Toris turned his head away from her. "Fuck. Screw MPD."

The girl reached up, gently clasping his head in her hands. "There there. I'll always be here."

As she kissed his forehead, Toris sighed, pushing her away. She stood, her face bright red. "I give you my heart, your love, and you throw me away like rubbish. Let's just see about that."

"What are you- NO!"

~SEVERAL HOURS LATER~

Ivan gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying and failing to tune out his sister's incessant chattering. As predicted earlier by Toris, she was in full rant, complaining about everything.

First it was how shitty first-class seats had treated her, then it was Ravis and Euard and how long they were taking to load her five, twenty pound bags into the car, and how Ivan shouldn't help them as their master. Then when she finally got in the car, she complained how unstylish it was, then how she should have brought her Ferrari, but it just got a new paint job and she didn't feel like getting a scratch on it.

Now she was calling Ravis and Euard fat, claiming that they were eating too well. Ivan, who hadn't spoken a word, disagreed. He was pretty sure that he could wrap his hands around any of his servant's waists, and his fingers could reach comfortably. Whether they were small, or his hands were huge, Ivan didn't know.

For a second, he thought about looking at how big his hands were by unclenching them, only to remember that if he did, he might start choking his sister.

What his older sister would say, Ivan wasn't sure either.

"How much longer?" Natalia whined in exactly the same way since they had first entered the car, blasting the heat at her.

"Not much." Ivan said through gritted teeth, pressing his foot further to the floor. The car groaned in protest, but roared on, rising over the last hill. "See? There it is."

Natalia had seen it before the words were out of his mouth, pulling on her boots. "Good riddance. I'm going to take a nice long bath and go right to sleep. Leave my food on the table next to the bed."

Ivan nodded, half paying attention. As he pulled into the drive, his eyes shot to the door, expecting to see Toris standing there like the dutiful butler. Since the cellar, Ivan had barely spoken to Toris, let alone anyone, keeping himself cooped up in the library.

But Toris wasn't there. Ivan parked the car in the only spot with the least amount of snow, jumping out of the car as fast as he could.

"Boys, you know where to take Natalia's things. Make sure none of her stuff gets wet. I have some matters to attend to…" Ivan said, walking towards the house.

He entered the house, ignoring the sounds of Natalia yelling at Ravis and Euard. It was completely silent, and as Ivan neared the kitchen, he saw that the door was missing a hinge, hanging haphazardly.

The kitchen was a mess, pots and pans scattered everywhere. Bloodstains ran all along the walls, bloody knives buried up to their handles in the wall. Ivan pulled one out of the wood, noting that it was a chef knife, and it took some force just to get it out of the wall.

Ivan looked around the room, looking for any bloody mass. When he saw none, he turned his head to the floor.

There were drag marks running to the door, handprints appearing every once in a while next to the drags, a foot sometimes appearing next to it. Ivan followed the drag towards the door, where there was a bloody handprint at the bottom, and a boot print towards the top.

Ivan stuck his head out the door, wondering how on earth he missed blood smears everywhere. He glanced up and down the hall, looking. Remarkably, it was spotless, and Ivan peered closer.

The floors had the appearance of being cleaned recently, but Ivan could see spots where Toris had missed, slowly dragging himself to the foyer.

Ivan followed the few blood spots, going up the stairs, toward his room. There was another handprint on his bedroom door, and Ivan pushed it open.

He could hear Toris now, muttering to himself.

"No… You go… Leave…"

The muttering was coming from his closet, and Ivan reached for the handle.

"Ivan… he'll see…"

Ivan opened the door, slowly peering around the door. Toris was lying curled up in a fetal position, a glazed look in his eye as he shivered into a lump of clothing that was half-covering him.

Ivan narrowed his eyes as he knelt to get closer to Toris. Toris was lying on a pile of Ivan's shirts.

"Toris, this isn't funny. If Natalia sees-" Ivan's words were cut off as he lifted up some shirts, noticing for the first time they were blood stained.

Toris' hand shot out, trying to take the shirt back. "He'll come… you'll see… Go…away…"He suddenly let out a shrill laugh. "Never…" He grabbed at his throat, and started choking himself.

Ivan grabbed Toris' arm, pulling them away so he couldn't kill himself. A slickness that seemed to seep through his gloves caught Ivan's attention and brought his attention to Toris' arms.

Toris' hands were cut in a hundred places, but most were small nicks, not allowing enough blood to make the amount of blood that was covered Toris, nor explain why his hands were ice cold.

Ivan flipped his butler's arm over, and Toris squirmed. "No… don't…"

Ivan rolled up Toris' sleeves, and he screamed in pain. Toris had good reason to, and Ivan had to stop himself from gasping.

Toris had slit his wrists in a straight line, running from his elbow to the tip of his middle finger. It was deep, and Toris tried to pull his arm away with the other hand, only to reveal he had done the same with his other arm.

Ivan heard Natalia muttering to herself as she walked upstairs, and faintly heard Euard and Ravis following her, lugging something heavy. He heard a door open and shut, and Ivan decided on the spot to move Toris downstairs.

Ivan slowly extracted Toris from the shirts, careful not to jar him too much. Toris wrestled, still in his demented state. "No… Give it back…" He let out the shrill laugh. "Why? Its… all… you'll have… of him… to die with…?"

"Yes…" Toris' voice faded, his movements loosing energy and his voice fading to nearly whisper. Ivan scooped Toris up, who moved in spasms, trying to free himself from the set of arms that surrounded him. "No… let me go…"

Ivan practically ran to the kitchen, trying not to jar Toris too much as he struggled, but had nothing to worry about as Toris fell limp, breathing slowly. He shoved the door to the side, practically sending the already broken door flying from the wall. Ivan shoved the silverware off the table, with one motion as he set Toris down.

Toris, who had fallen silent, groaned, and opened his eyes slightly. After a minute of blinking, he smiled. "Hey… Vanya…"

Ivan, who had been preoccupied with tying towels around Toris' arms, looked up in shock. None of his servants had ever called him 'Vanya' before.

"I… I did… it…" Toris muttered, his eyelids drooping.

"Yes, yes you did. Good job in killing yourself. Now, let's get Euard in here and-" Ivan said, turning to the door.

"No…" Toris said, feebly reaching out a hand to grab Ivan's coat, but fell short and pathetically let his hand drop. "Don't… leave…"

Ivan sighed, rubbing his temples before walking to the door. "Euard! Kitchen! NOW!" He yelled out the door before turning back to Toris.

He shook his head at his butler. "Toris, what the hell were you thinking?"

Toris chuckled, then coughed violently, blood bubbling from his mouth. "I had… to get… rid… of her…" he said, his voice losing volume.

Ivan sighed, pulling a chair to the table and sitting in it. He put his head in his hands, and when he felt something brush his hand, he opened his eyes and took Toris' offered hand.

"Master, what-" Ravis walked in, Euard following him. The instant Ivan heard Ravis, he dropped Toris' hand, but Ravis and Euard were too shocked at the blood splattered kitchen. Ravis' eyes focused on Toris first, and the second he did, Ravis' eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, and he fell over backwards in a faint.

Euard paled. "Master, what happened to-"

Ivan cut him off. "Toris is bleeding heavily. Go get some needles and thread, they're some pretty deep cuts."

Euard nodded, but Ivan could see the disbelief in Euard's eyes as he picked Ravis up and placed him in an unused chair before he left the room.

Toris chuckled and yawned, his eyelids completely shutting. "I think… I'll… just rest my… eyes… for a second… If you don't… mind…"

Ivan stood up and snapped his fingers in Toris' face, and when he got no response, started shaking him gently. "No, stay awake Toris. Toris? Focus!"

Toris' eyes fluttered open for a second, then closed again. Ivan leaned down and pressed his head to his butler's chest. Toris' heart was slowing, its normal steady beat sluggishly chugging along, one beat every three seconds.

Euard appeared in the doorway, his arms laden with medical equipment. "Master, I know Natalia brings out the worst in you, but to take it out like this on Toris? This is- What did you do?" Euard gasped, for the first time getting a really good look at Toris.

Ivan shook his head, motioning to the mess around him. "I did nothing. It was like this when I walked in here."

Euard frowned, unable to hide his disbelief as he unwrapped the towels from Toris' arms. "Well, at least you stopped him from comepletely bleeding out of his arms." He removed the last towel and discarded it, gently picking up Toris' arm. His eyes got big at the cut, and he muttered something to Ivan.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Euard looked over his shoulder, away from Ivan. "I'm sorry I doubted you." He said through gritted teeth, and Ivan's eyebrows rose slightly.

"And what changed your mind?" Ivan said, slightly bemused. It wasn't everyday that Euard corrected himself.

Euard pointed his finger at Toris' cut. "The only way you can make a cut like this is if you take a kitchen knife and drag it through your own skin. It's a small miracle he's even still alive with these cuts."

"Had to… die…" Toris muttered, his eyes still closed.

Ivan bent over his butler. "Why? Why do you want to kill yourself?"

"Only… way. Had to… kill her… Wanted me… to kill…" Toris' voice faded and he continued to mouth words, but his arm moved from Euard's grasp and twitched to the right.

Ivan looked up in the direction that Toris had indicated. It was the stove, barely any white showing through the red blood that covered it. Ivan's eyes swept up and down, noting the food sitting on the counter and a small brown bottle that lay on its side, hissing ominously as it dripped onto a stick of celery.

"Cyanide?" At Ivan's words, Toris nodded.

Euard, who had been sewing up Toris' arm, finished the last stitch. "Alright, give me the other arm and make sure Toris doesn't move any more than necessary or he'll bleed out."

Toris' eyes snapped open, and his gaze fell onto his stitched up arm. He tried to push himself up while making jerking movements with his other arm, keeping it out of Euard's reach. "No… don't…"

Ivan gently pushed Toris back. "Shh… It's ok Toris. Just relax. Euard will have it all done in a second."

"No…" Toris said as he pushed at Ivan's arms, but it was like a ant trying to move solid steel. Exasperated, he grabbed at his newly stitched up arm with his other hand and tried to pull the stitches out. Ivan grabbed Toris' hand and handed it to Euard, who started sewing, and sat on the table, holding down Toris' shoulders. Toris groaned, his eyes staring at Euard. "If… you do… she'll come… back…"

Ivan raised an eyebrow. "What's so bad about this girl Toris?" He said softly, and under his hands, he felt Toris relax slightly.

"She… she… makes me… feel… worthless Vanya…" Toris' voice started fading again, and Ivan leaned closer in order to hear him.

"She said… you'd… never…" Toris' voice stopped, and he left his mouth open like he wanted to say it, and yet, didn't.

Ivan shook his butler slightly. "What? I'd never what?"

Toris turned pink, then white and Ivan and Euard dove from the table in time to miss being splattered Toris' blood as he vomited it up.

Euard looked at Toris' stomach as Toris fell back heavily onto the table. "Did he always have that line of blood there?"

Ivan opened the shirt, and at his shoulder, Euard paled and put a hand to his mouth.

A cruel gash ran across Toris' front, running along his collarbone, down his breast, to about his navel, and a chunk of his skin laid barely attached, revealing several ribs.

"Down in the basement, there's a long silver fridge. In it are a couple piles of blood bags. Toris' are the ones of the far right." Ivan said, and Euard nodded, running out of the room.

Ivan shook his head at Toris. "Euard was right. It is a miracle you're alive."

Toris chuckled. "Not… really…" He turned his head to stare at Ivan. "But… I… thought…"

"You thought what?"

"You'd… come… And… prove… her… wrong…"

Ivan furrowed his eyebrows. "And how did I do that?"

"She… said… that she… was… the… only one… who'd… ever love… me… and that you'd… you'd…"

"For Jesus Christ's sake, spit it out Toris!"

"You'd… never… love me… the way… I love… you…"

There was a thud and a crash at the door, and Ivan turned around to see Ravis on the ground again, and Euard in the doorway. Euard rushed over, feeling Toris' forehead.

"You must have a fever… Or something's wrong!" Euard said, feeling his own forehead in comparison.

Toris chuckled, his eyes still holding Ivan's. "Euard… I've never… felt… better…" Toris heaved over the side of the table again, and he half-heartedly wiped at the blood around his mouth. "Except… for the… blood…" He coughed, and some more blood flew out.

Euard turned back to the door, and picked up the IV stuff he had dropped, setting it close to Toris. Euard injected the blood into Toris' arm and turned to Toris' stomach, his quick hands making short work of the cut.

Toris yawned again. "I'm… so tired… I'll just go… to sleep… and maybe… this will be… a bad dream…" He looked at Ivan's eyes. "Except… for you… You were… the best… thing that… I could've… hoped for…"

Toris' eyes flickered shut, and distantly, he felt a hand tighten on his shoulder. "Don't."

With more energy than what seemed to be in his body, Toris opened his eyes. "Sorry…"

Toris reached up to touch Ivan's face, but it never reached.

Toris' body relaxed, and his arm flopped onto the table, uselessly hanging off the light brown table. Ivan ignored Euard's protests and put his head on Toris' chest listening.

"He's having a heart attack." Ivan said, straightening up. He waved Euard out the door. "Go, I get the feeling we're going to need more blood packets."

As Euard tore out of the room at full tilt, Ivan rolled up his sleeves. Unlike Euard, Ivan had had no formal background in medicine, other than the few tricks he learned in his various mafias.

He started pushing on Toris' chest, trying to keep what little blood there was pumping. Mouth-to-mouth wasn't a particularly strong point for Ivan, but he had done it countless times before.

Euard was back, slightly breathing heavily. He continued to sew up Toris' stomach, and when he finished, he checked for no other cuts, then stood to the side.

Ivan continued to push on Toris' chest, trying to resusetate him. Euard moved to Ivan, and reached out a hand to touch Ivan's shoulder, then drew it back. "Master, it's no use. Toris is gone off to a better place. We can always get a new-"

"No." The tone of Ivan's voice made Euard jump back in surprise and fear. "No one could replace Toris."

Euard held his hands in front of him, realizing his mistake. "No, I know that Master, but-"

"No one could even DREAM about replacing Toris!" Ivan roared, slamming his fist on the table for emphasis, only to slam it onto Toris' unmoving chest.

Toris gasped, inhaling as his heart restarted. He coughed, and blood flew out of his mouth.

Euard and Ivan breathed a sigh of relief, and Euard moved to the door. "I'm going to go take Ravis to our room and get some more blood bags for Toris." He said, backing out slowly and grabbing the unconscious Ravis.

Toris groaned. "I feel like… a train… hit me... What… happened?"

Ivan chuckled as he dragged Ravis' unoccupied chair over to the table and collapsed. "You died."

Toris paused, and Ivan saw realization hit him. He chuckled, looking up at the ceiling. "Should have… left me… for dead..."

Ivan moved the chair closer to the table and put an arm on the table, looking at Toris as he avoided Ivan's eyes. "Why?"

Toris focused on some insignificant spot on the ceiling. "Why what?"

Ivan reached over and started playing with a strand of Toris' hair. "Why would you believe that I'd never love you?"

Toris blushed slightly, turning his head away from Ivan. "She was… another part of me… She knew… my desires… hopes… fears… She toyed with me… even though… she WAS me…"

Ivan tugged on the strand of hair, causing Toris' head to turn and look at him.

Ivan leaned in and kissed Toris on the forehead, causing Toris to blush even more. "Well, if she ever comes back, you can tell her to go to hell, since I love you too."

Ivan pushed away from the table and walked to the door. He paused on his way out, looking over his shoulder at the dumbstruck Toris.

"Oh, and if you ever try to kill yourself again, remember that I WILL bring you back to life, slowly dismember you, and then kill you myself." Ivan said, an evil glint in his eye as he shut the door and left Toris in the blood-splattered kitchen.


	3. REQUEST! READ!

BAH!

Fuck I need something to do.

I'm really sorry it took so long to get back to fanfiction, but I recently just went off to college! :D And then my life went to hell in back. D: It's a long story, but let's just say it has to do with bad decisions on my part (sorry Ane-chan), horrible, life altering decisions on my friend's part (STDS are horrible things), a drug dealer friend (who I had absolutely no idea did such hard-core drugs), and an entire floor of 60 some girls beating on each other (not literally, but it's a minefield when all the biological clocks align). It's a miracle I've somehow survived, and with a shred of dignity to my name.

Alright everyone, this is where this stands- I'm bored. My brain has blocked EVERYTHING. I need to loosen up the cogs, so that hopefully, by some miracle, I can think about finishing these stories that are just chilling here. Life has been a bitch to me, but if you still check my page, by some miracle, post below this, and the magic genie will give you a wish.

One wish- Any story. I don't care what book, manga, TV show, magazine, or anything else you can think of, the story comes from. Just tell me what you want, and who you want in it. I WILL WRITE IT. EVEN IF I HAVE TO STUDY WHAT THE HELL YOU MIGHT BE TALKING ABOUT. I'll post it on fanfiction, email it to you, whatever you want. Can't promise it'll be done soon, but Imma try really hard to get it back to you in less than a week.

I love you so much if you actually got excited that I finally posted, and if you even checked this. I'm honored, and I would love to write a story for you. I don't care if you feel like taking advantage of me, this is kinda my way of taking advantage of the brains of other people.

LOVE YOU ALL!

~Kitkat


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